


The Words

by myemergence



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Love Letters, M/M, Prompt Fill, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22649407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myemergence/pseuds/myemergence
Summary: The week of Valentine's Day Buck goes home to find a box full of letters in his mailbox. As he reads them, he finds that they are love letters. He enlists the help of the one-eighteen to help him discover the identity of the secret admirer.Prompt Fill for the Tumblr prompt 'Secret Admirer' for Buddietines week
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 15
Kudos: 300





	The Words

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to the beta for this, nilkshi. Your hard work is so appreciated, and thank you for helping with the title!

Eddie stepped into the dining room, setting down a plate of mandarin oranges and grapes. “Here’s your snack, bud. Did you finish your spelling words?” He asked, seating himself in the chair directly across from his son. 

A giggle escaped from Christopher’s lips. “Dad, Carla and I finished my spelling words last night.”

Eddie felt his brows knit together as he glanced at Christopher, who had been working at the dining room table for no less than thirty minutes. “So, what are you working on then?” Eddie grabbed a grape from the plate, popping into his mouth.

A sigh escaped the little boy’s lips, setting down his pencil and he looked to Eddie with a serious look on his face. “Do you know what next week is?”

“Uh…” Eddie tapped his fingers against the tabletop in thought. Eddie pulled out his cell phone, glancing at the calendar. “I’m not sure, Chris.”

Chris set his hand carefully on top of Eddie’s before he looked him square in the eyes. “It’s  _ Valentine’s Day,  _ Dad.”

Wow. He was really, really bad at this. Surely a better parent would have had it circled on the calendar. Eddie couldn’t stop the small laugh that had bubbled past his lips. “You are completely right. I totally forgot, mijo. Are you supposed to bring something for class?”

“It’s okay, we all have bad days sometimes,” Christopher replied brightly. “I have to bring in valentines for the other kids, and a decorated mailbox for the cards.”

“Hmm,” Eddie pondered briefly before realization flashed in his eyes, “well I do have your craft bin up in my closet if you wanted to try to decorate a cereal box for your mailbox?” 

Chris looked up from the hearts that he was drawing on the paper in front of him. “Oh, mine is going to be the best!” He announced eagerly, setting the crayon down on the table. Chris began to get up from the table, grabbing his crutches when he was upright. “You find a cereal box, and I’ll get the supplies.”

“You sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m not five,” Chris reminded him with a sigh. Eddie let out a small laugh, holding his hands up in surrender. His boy was nothing if not utterly determined, and he was growing more and more independent by the day. It made Eddie so proud, and at the same time, he missed the little boy who used to be solely dependent on him. Eddie made his way to the counter to find a cereal box, listening to the fading sound of crutches as Christopher disappeared into Eddie’s room.

** 

Buck glided into the firehouse with an extra bounce in his step. Eddie looked up from his locker, a genuine smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He looked back to his locker, eyes lingering on the Valentine’s Day card that Christopher had made for him over the weekend. “Well, looks like cupid must have something up his sleeve for you this week,” Eddie teased.

“I’ll have you know that I  _ do _ finally have plans,” Buck told him, pulling the shirt up and over his head, turning his body so that he could glance at his best friend. “I was pretty sure I was going to be dateless this year, which isn’t necessarily a bad idea considering my track record with Valentine’s Day.”

Eddie made a move to close his locker, but Buck stepped closer, stopping him. “Did Chris make that?” He asked, an enamored smile splitting his handsome features. “I don’t know where that kid gets his artistic talent, but clearly it’s not from his dad.”

“Thanks man,” Eddie rolled his eyes, “Shannon was definitely way more artistic than I’ll ever be.” He cleared his throat then, a sad attempt at changing the subject before he got trapped into a conversation about feelings. “So, what are Valentine's Day plans?”

“Trying to live vicariously through me?” Buck teased, looking up briefly to meet Eddie’s hazel eyes as he carefully buttoned the top to his uniform. 

“No, I think I manage just fine on my own.”

“You think so?” He challenged, his brow arching at the question, “When was the last time that you went on a date?”

“I-I don’t know,” Eddie answered with a sigh, hating to have to admit to his best friend that his love life was essentially extinct. 

“There’s no reason for that, it’s not like you couldn’t get a date if you actually put some effort into it.” Buck set the rest of his belongings in his locker before he leaned against it, arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against his locker, “Let me help you.”

Eddie raked his fingers through his hair uncomfortably, “I appreciate the offer, Buck, I do. But I don’t have the time-”

“I’ve got you, man. I just need a decent picture of you and then I’ll do the rest.”

  
  


**

“So we all know that Cap is a big lover when it comes to Valentine’s Day,” Hen let out a light laugh before she took a sip of her beer, the crew unwinding after a long shift. “Anyone else have plans?”

Eddie was thankful that Buck hadn’t arrived at the bar yet to bring up Eddie’s lack of a love life. Or to ask for another picture to use for a dating profile. He took a long pull from his beer, waiting for everyone else to pipe in. “I’m taking Maddie out for a nice dinner on Friday night, then a quiet evening at home.” Chimney said.

“Solid plan,” Bobby acknowledged. “Michael has Harry this weekend, so I’m surprising Athena with a weekend away…” His eyes slid to Hen’s knowingly, “just to reiterate, I said  _ surprise _ .”

Hen laughed heartily at the emphasis, “I’m wounded that you think  _ I _ would ruin a surprise.”

Bobby smirked, taking a sip of his water. “Did you forget about her birthday last year, already?” Hen pursed her lips together tightly, her brows rising. “I’ll take that as a no.” He and Hen laughed in unison.

Eddie was about to speak up when he noticed a tall blond making his way into the bar. He forced a swallow as his eyes lingered, on the blond getting a drink at the bar. “Did we lose you, Eddie?” Chim teased.

“Huh? Uh, no,” Eddie pulled his eyes away to glance at Chim with a tight smile. He lifted his beer before nodding his head towards the bar. “Buck made it.”

“Ohhh, alright.” Chim trailed off, exchanging a knowing glance with Hen as Buck made his way over to the group. 

“Hey guys,” Buck greeted as he slipped into the empty barstool at the table. 

“We were just talking about everyone’s Valentine’s Day plans,” Bobby told him, watching as Buck brought his beer to his lips in a fluid motion. “You have any plans?”

“Yeah, I mean, I did…” Buck trailed off slowly, his mind seemingly elsewhere. “Have any of you ever had a secret admirer?” He asked carefully.

“Uh, yeah, in the sixth grade,” Hen joked.

Buck pursed his lips together in thought, before placing his beer down on the table. “I stopped home after our shift… and found these  _ letters _ in my mailbox.”

“Letters?” Eddie asked, with obvious interest.

“Love letters?” Bobby suggested although he wasn’t sure if the suggestion was because Valentine’s Day was around the corner. He was a sucker for Valentine’s Day romance.

Buck nodded his head. “I’ve never received a love letter before.” He let out a small laugh, his mind flashing back to the words that he’d read only a short while earlier. “I- have no idea who would have sent these.”

“Maybe your date for Valentine’s Day?” Eddie suggested.

“No,” Buck shook his head, taking another long swallow from his beer, “we haven’t actually been out before.” He explained carefully.

Chim howled with laughter, “Hold up a second, you are spending your Valentine’s Day reverting back to Buck 1.0 and hooking up with someone from Tinder?”

“After reading those letters, I don’t know what I want to do.”

“You really don’t have any idea who they could be from? Any clues?” Hen asked, her interested piqued. 

Buck shook his head again, “I honestly have no idea.” He shifted in the barstool, fingers slipping into his back pocket. “I brought one of them with me.”

“Oh, we have got to figure this out so you can go out with your secret admirer for Valentine’s Day. How romantic would that be?” Hen and Bobby looked at each other excitedly, holding their hands out for the letter.

Eddie felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, seeing the familiar scrawl across the envelope. This was  _ impossible.  _ He felt on the edge of suffocating, swallowing the second half of his beer in several greedy gulps. His hazel eyes flashed, and he thought of the box which was safely tucked away in his closet only days ago.  _ Next to Christopher’s art bin _ . Fuck.

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie choked out as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He flashed a smile before he stepped away from the group. Eddie slipped out the back door of the bar, leaning against the hard wall behind him. He ran his hands roughly over his face. “Think, Eddie, think. How the  _ fuck _ did this happen?” 

His eyes closed as he tried to calm his racing heart, the panic at having his intimate feelings for Buck shared with the rest of their team. Which letter were they reading? Did he have  _ all _ of them? Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Buck were sitting inside of the bar trying to answer one question: who was Buck’s secret admirer? And the man who had written those letters stood outside, trying to answer a thousand more.

**

He’d ducked out early after that.

The next morning, hearing the doorbell, Eddie made his way to the front door, setting a basket of folded laundry on top of the table before pulling the door open. “Cap, is everything okay?” he asked in surprise.

Bobby smiled back at him. “Having a sick kid is never easy, I brought soup.” Eddie felt his jaw fall open and had to snap it shut quickly to recover.

“Bobby, I appreciate it, but you didn’t need to…” His voice trailed off slightly, as he stood with his hand gripping the door tightly. He had very gracelessly slipped out of the bar the night before, telling everyone that Chris was sick. The last thing that he needed was someone showing up concerned about his perfectly healthy kid.

“I wanted to,” Bobby assured him, standing outside of the home with a tupperware dish in his hands. “So, are you going to invite me in or what?”

“Uh, of course,” Eddie pulled the door open wider, stepping aside so that Bobby could walk through the doorway and into his home. He fought back the desire to throw his head back and groan as he closed the door behind him.

Bobby’s eye caught sight of the mess on the living room floor as they stepped past, legos and dinosaurs scattered across nearly every inch. His eyes landed on Chris finally, who sat on the floor playing with a few dinosaurs, noisily knocking over a lego structure. “Can I get you anything, Cap?” Eddie asked before Bobby finally followed behind him, into the kitchen.

Bobby made his way to the refrigerator, slipping the container inside. “An explanation?”

Eddie felt his heart begin to thunder in his chest, and he busied himself with grabbing a few glasses out of the cupboard. “An explanation for what?” He asked, managing to keep an even tone. 

Bobby grabbed the pitcher of water, joining Eddie at the counter. “For why you left the bar so quickly last night.” He glanced away from Eddie as he filled the two glasses, returning the pitcher to the fridge. 

“I told you last night, Chris-”

“I know what you told everyone last night.” Bobby tilted his head towards the living room. “But that kid out there is not sick.”

“He was having a rough night.” Eddie grabbed one of the glasses in his hand roughly, taking several long swallows.

“ _ He  _ was?”

Eddie sighed loudly, putting his glass down noisily on the table before turning to Bobby. “Are you trying to ask me something?”

Bobby shrugged his shoulders before he sat down at the table with his glass of water. “You missed all of them speculating on who Buck’s secret admirer was when you left last night.” 

Eddie scoffed before he sat down in the chair across from Bobby. “So who have you narrowed it down to?”

“Well, they decided that it’s definitely a guy based on the chicken scratch. They had a pretty generous list: the mailman, the Postmates driver that always ends up drumming up a conversation, the personal trainer at his gym…” Bobby trailed off slowly. “Clearly, they’re amateurs.”

Eddie’s eyes lifted to Bobby’s then. “Oh, and you think you have it figured out?”

“It’s clearly someone who knows Buck very well,” the older man began, “who knows intimate details about him, and who has known him long enough to really pine over him.”

“Oh, well that’s a lot of information to take from  _ one _ letter.”

“Yes, but also the knowledge that there are twelve others.” Eddie fought the desire to slam his head against the table in defeat. Bobby was too observant, and he knew what was coming before it actually happened. Not because of what Bobby had said to him, but by the knowing look in his eyes. It was the same look that he gave to Christopher when he was trying to get away with something, and Eddie knew it. 

He decided to play along, if for nothing else than to not have to admit it to Bobby himself. “So, who do you speculate it is?”

“It’s not speculation,” Bobby told him pointedly, finding his gaze, “the feelings, the intimate knowledge, the handwriting… it’s you, Eddie.”

**

Eddie stepped into the locker room on the day before Valentine’s Day, noticing Buck sitting on the bench. “You’re early,” Eddie observed, trying not to be distracted by the familiar letter that was grasped between his hands.

“I just-” Buck sighed heavily as he read over the words, scouring it for clues. “I feel like it shouldn’t be that hard to figure this out.”

“Why are you so worried about it, man?” Eddie asked, genuinely curious. “You have a date for tomorrow night, and I’m sure it will be great to let a little steam off, right?”

“You don’t get it. You didn’t read  _ this _ ,” Buck shoved the letter in Eddie’s direction, waiting for him to take it. “How can I be okay with something meaningless, when there is someone in my world who feels like this?”

Eddie internalized a groan, taking the letter from Buck. He looked down at his writing, scrawled messily over the page. His words, a confession of his feelings for Buck that he was never supposed to see.

**_Buck,_ **

**_Some days I wonder what my life was like before you walked into it. I try to scour my brain for my best memories, and less for one or two, all of them have been since we met. Some people might think that is just a coincidence, but I know better. My life is made better every day for knowing you._ **

**_You are reckless sometimes and lead with your heart, and although it drives me crazy, that is one of the things that I love about you. You would give everything you have for those you care about, and damn the consequences. I wish I could be as open about my feelings as you are. I wish I could push back this crippling fear of the what-ifs. I’m writing this all to you in a letter that I’m never going to mail, that’s the kind of fear that I live with. Because I know that this will never work out. Because I ruin every romantic relationship that has ever mattered in my life._ **

**_And I refuse to destroy you as I have with those who came before you._ **

**_So I’ll continue to watch you live your life, and meet new people. And with every new date that you gush about, I have to remember that this is my decision. I can’t blame them, either, because nobody is immune to that Evan Buckley charm._ **

**_But in each of those moments, I’ll think about what it would be like to take their place. To have you show up at my doorstep, instead of theirs. And when you tell me about your date, I’ll just smile, because you deserve happiness, even if I know that I can’t be the one to give that to you._ **

**_XO_ **

It was Buck’s hand on his shoulder that brought Eddie back. “So what do you think?”

Eddie sighed, “it’s  _ just _ a letter, Buck.”

“What?” Buck looked at Eddie incredulously, as though he was trying to convince him that the earth was square. “How can you even think that? Feelings like that… why would anyone  _ ever _ keep those feelings to themself? How is that fair to this person, or to  _ me _ ?”

This time Eddie groaned out loud, handing the letter back to Buck. “I’m sure they have their reasons, sounds like they have a pretty screwed up past. Maybe they’re doing you a favor. And, not for nothing? But if you had feelings for this person, they’d already know.”

“Doing me a favor? I can’t believe that is how you see this. I don’t get why you can’t see how this would matter to me.”

“Because they are just meaningless words!” Eddie shouted in frustration. “As much as I’d love to get more invested in your love life like the rest of the damn firehouse, I’ve gotta finish getting ready for our shift.” He turned back to his locker and away from Buck, stunning him into silence.

**

Eddie slipped into his house after a work out at the gym, the need to release some of the tension before he exploded winning out. He’d gone several rounds with the punching bag, and although he was hoping for a release of some sort, he felt himself just as tightly wound as before.

He sighed as he tossed the bag on the floor, just inside the doorway. It was Valentine’s Day and he had no bigger plans than going to the gym and making heart-shaped cookies with his kid. “Carla? Chris?” Eddie called as he stepped further inside.

“I’m in the kitchen!” Carla answered. Eddie glanced around the kitchen, a curious look on his face.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Oh, Buck’s getting him, should be here any minute?”

“What?” Eddie heard the tightness in his voice and cringed.

Carla grabbed the cookie sheet from the oven with oven mitts, setting it on top of the stove before promptly closing the oven door. “Is that a problem, Eddie?” She snapped back.

Eddie sighed, shaking his head. “No, no it’s not I just- thought this afternoon would just be me and Chris, that’s all.” And he didn’t know how long he could handle the awkward tension between them, after his outburst in the locker room, only the day before. Eddie heard the sound of the front door closing, and his heart pounded harder in his chest.

“Honey, we’re home!” Buck called loudly, the sound of Christopher’s crutches and his laughter instantly filling the small house.

“Here, put these on the cooling rack so I can take them home to my honey.” Carla smiled at Eddie, as he followed her orders. The table was adorned with a variety of frostings and sprinkles, and she had three large bowls with a neat ball of dough saran-wrapped in each. “I’m going to take these and decorate them at home. But you have  _ everything _ you need here.”

“Did you leave the directions for the oven?” Eddie asked her dumbly.

Carla sighed, “They’re on the recipe card, but that’s not what I was talking about Eddie.” She grabbed a container, piling the cookies in as Buck and Christopher joined them. Eddie looked at her cluelessly for a moment, watching as she said her goodbyes.

His eyes slid over to Buck’s, remaining silent for a moment. “Thanks for picking up Chris,” he finally sputtered.

“I had a little something for him for Valentine’s Day, and thought he’d like it if I gave it to him today.” Buck shrugged. 

Eddie opened his mouth to ask if he planned on staying, but was cut off abruptly by Christopher’s excited words. “Do you want to see it, Daddy?” 

A light chuckle escaped his lips as he moved closer to Chris, crouching down to his level. “Of course I do, mijo.” Christopher grinned as he showed Eddie the brightly colored plush dinosaur, holding a heart in its tiny t-rex hands. 

Eddie let out a laugh as he looked at the dinosaur. “This is great. Did you tell Buck thank you?”

“Of course he did, you have the most polite kid on earth,” Buck assured him. 

“Hey bud, why don’t you wash your hands and then we can make some cookies, alright?” Eddie watched as Christopher left the room to wash his hands. Eddie washed his hands at the kitchen sink before turning to look at Buck. “Are you going to stay and make cookies, or do you need to get ready for the big date tonight?

“Nah, I can stay, as long as that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie nodded as he stepped aside for Buck to wash his hands at the sink.

“Look,” Buck began before letting out a heavy sigh, “I think I owe you an apology, for yesterday.” Eddie’s eyes snapped to Buck’s with a look of bewilderment. “I was being really inconsiderate of your feelings. Talking about my search for this secret admirer and- and you don’t even have plans. Anyways, I’m sorry.”

“Buck, it’s not like that at all. I was just in a mood, you didn’t do anything wrong. I have plans with Chris tonight and that’s enough for me,” Eddie assured him. 

They both glanced up as they heard Christopher’s crutches, just before he made his way back into the kitchen. “Why don’t you tell us how your Valentine’s Day party at school went?” Eddie suggested, as he rolled out Christopher’s dough and set several different heart-shaped cutouts in front of him. He quickly rolled out his ball of dough before handing the rolling pin to Buck.

“It was really fun, I got so many cards.” Christopher grinned, “they let us open our mailboxes at school, but we couldn’t eat any of the candy.”

“Aw man, that sounds like fun,” Buck told him with a smile. “I wish I had a mailbox full of cards.”

Christopher looked up from what he was doing, a look of confusion causing his brows to cinch together. “But Buck, you had a mailbox full of cards. From  _ my dad _ .”

_ Fuck. _ Eddie’s eyes jolted up to Christopher’s, his heart beginning to beat so loudly that it thundered in his ears. He rose from the table quickly, putting the first tray of cookies into the oven and setting the timer, his mind frantically screaming at him.

Buck set down the cookie-cutter, leaning forward slightly towards Christopher. “What do you mean?”

Chris sighed as he looked at Buck closely. “The other day I was-”

“Hey Christopher, didn’t you say this morning that you had something to give to Buck when you saw him?” Eddie attempted to redirect Chris, the anxiety of the entire situation making him feel as though the walls were closing in. It was only a matter of time before Buck knew that it was Eddie that was in love with him, and their friendship would be over.

Chris nodded his head at Eddie’s question. “I’ll go get it.”

Buck aimed a questioning look in Eddie’s direction. The fact that he had interrupted Chris was so unlike him. Buck pursed his lips together, trying to piece together the puzzle. “I’ll go with you,” Buck offered, following Chris out of the room. 

Well, that didn’t go as planned. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath once Buck and Chris were out of earshot, dropping his head into his hands for a pause. He watched as the two of them re-entered the room a few minutes later. “Everything all set?”

“Yup,” Chris smiled happily as he got resituated. “Can we finish making the cookies now? I really want to eat some frosting.” Buck and Eddie laughed at his words.

“Yeah, let’s finish up.” Eddie smiled at the boy, surprised that Buck hadn’t pressed when he’d come back into the room. 

They finished making the cookies and destroying the kitchen about an hour later. They taste-tested every kind of frosting and piled the sprinkles on high. 

Eddie glanced at the clock, seeing that it was already past five. “You’d better get going man, you don’t want to be late.”

Buck seemed unfazed by his words, and upon hearing the doorbell ring he grinned at Christopher. “I’ll get that.” Buck rose to his feet quickly, walking to the door. “Isabel, it’s so great to see you.”

“Abuela!” Christopher called excitedly as he made his way to her. She embraced him, placing a doting kiss on the crown of his head.

“Abuela?” Eddie asked in confusion, joining them in the entryway. 

“You have fun tonight, okay?” She smiled widely at Eddie.

“But Abuela, why are you here? I didn’t-” Eddie scratched his head, stopping short as confusion washed over him. He was sure that he hadn’t asked her to watch Chris tonight, there was no need. He had no plans other than spending the evening with Chris, and now that was being taken away.

“You have a kid-free night, enjoy it,” she demanded, before placing an affectionate kiss on his cheek. She grabbed the small duffel bag that was sitting by the door.

“Wait, who packed a bag?” Eddie asked, the lines that were creasing his forehead deepening.

He felt a hand on his shoulder that grounded him. “Just let it be,” Buck assured him, Christopher and Isabel saying their goodbyes to Eddie. Only minutes later a silent house surrounded them.

“You’d better go before you’re late.” Eddie turned to Buck.

“I canceled the date two days ago, Eddie. I don’t have anywhere to be.” Buck didn’t wait for Eddie’s reaction to his words, stepping into the kitchen and beginning to clean up the mess they’d made.

“Oh, well, you don’t have to stay and do dishes. I’ve got it.” Eddie trailed him into the kitchen, stepping around Buck to turn on the faucet, wetting a washcloth to clean the crusty frosting from the table.

“I get it, you want me to leave so that we can ignore what Chris said in here earlier.” Buck grabbed the bowls from the table and set them down into the sink.

“No,” Eddie sighed. “I can handle it, that’s all.” Eddie moved around Buck again, shaking off the washcloth in the sink before turning back around.

“That’s what you always do, right, Eds? You handle it?” Buck stepped into Eddie’s space again, and Eddie felt his breath hitch. “We don’t talk about our feelings, we just keep that shit bottled up until we can’t handle it anymore, right? We get into illegal street fighting when we can’t deal with our rage. We write our real feelings out in letters that are  _ never _ going to be sent. Fuck, Eddie!” Buck’s hands gripped the sink behind Eddie, not allowing him another chance to avoid this.

“ _ Buck.”  _ His name was barely a whisper on Eddie’s lips.

“That’s all you’ve got for me now?” Buck let out an uneven laugh out of frustration, the sound foreign to Eddie’s ears. “Days of listening to me agonize about who wrote those letters, who could possibly have those feelings for me. And it was  _ you _ all along. And you can’t even say it, you can’t even admit it to me now!” He shook his head, wounded blue orbs looking down into Eddie’s hazel ones.

“You make it sound like all of this is easy. You are so fucking frustrating!” A tremor shook through Eddie’s body, the emotion of it all causing Eddie to burst at the seams. Before Eddie had the chance to brace against the sink, Buck was pressed up against his front, pinning Eddie to the counter behind him.

“Would it be easier for you if we were in a metal cage right now?” Buck asked deeply, tongue flicking out to wet his lips, eyes not wavering from Eddie’s. Eddie shook his head silently, his eyes finally breaking their gaze, unable to speak for a long moment as he felt Buck pressed up against him. “I swear to God, Eddie if you don’t  _ look _ at me,” Eddie’s eyes instantly snapped back to Buck’s, his blue eyes burning with frustration and anger, and something that Eddie could only identify as desire.

Buck’s face was mere inches from Eddie’s now, his breath scented with the sweet smell of sugar cookies. Eddie bit back the desire to groan at this closeness that he’d only dreamt about before, eyes locked on Buck’s. “What do you want?” Buck asked, his words coming out slow, sounding out every syllable with care. 

“It’s not about what I want, Buck,” Eddie whispered, the nagging voice in the back of his mind continuing to scream out, reminding him of his past failures. Reminding him of how terrible his entire relationship with Shannon had been. How those choices had affected Christopher. 

He swallowed roughly, feeling the tears that were beginning to burn behind his eyes. Eddie hesitated, not wanting Buck to see the sadness there. Buck remained insistent, his fingers cupping below Eddie’s chin, tipping his face so that his eyes were forced to find Buck’s again, moving another millimeter closer. “What do you want?” Buck’s voice deepened with the whisper.

Eddie worried his bottom lip between his teeth, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks. Finally, the admission slipped past his lips. “You.” The anger finally left Buck’s eyes, his thumbs sliding down Eddie’s cheeks to wipe away the tears that had fallen, stopping in the roughness of Eddie’s stubble. They stood there like that for a long moment before Buck dragged his thumb against Eddie’s lower lip, making Eddie’s teeth release the hold.

Buck dipped his head down, covering Eddie’s lips with his own in an agonizingly slow kiss. Eddie felt the hesitation fall away, the physical tension in his body fading away. He leaned into Buck more, one hand resting against Buck’s hip, his other hand cupping the back of his head, drawing him closer as their lips moved against each other. Several thundering heartbeats later, Buck placed a hand against Eddie’s chest, breaking the kiss. A small smirk played at the corners of his lips. “See what happens when we talk about our feelings?”

Eddie laughed lightly, feeling like the hands that had been clenching his heart tightly over the past week had finally let go, “Shut up.” It was Eddie who grabbed hold of Buck’s face this time, taking the lead and turning them until it was Buck who was shoved against the sink. Buck groaned into Eddie’s lips, the vibration coursing through Eddie until it settled low into his stomach. Eddie pulled back from the kiss slowly, the sound of Buck’s grumbling stomach causing Eddie’s lips to lift into a smirk. “Guess I have to feed you, too.”

“Eating  _ could  _ wait,” Buck told him with a light shrug of his shoulder, heavy-lidded eyes settled on Eddie. His stomach grumbled again, clearly in disagreement. 

Eddie stepped away from Buck, immediately missing the feel of him. He grabbed a heart-shaped cookie from the plate and handed it to Buck. “I’ll call and order us a pizza, you eat this and quiet the monster. I’m sure we can find something to do with our time until the pizza gets here.” 

Eddie grinned as he stepped away, realizing that yet again that he owed everything to his brilliant kid.

**

Eddie made his way up the steps of the firehouse, smiling when he found Buck and Bobby setting the table for the crew’s breakfast. Hen and Chim had already gathered, moving the food to the table. “Sorry Cap, Christopher’s appointment ran over a few minutes,” he said by way of an apology. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No, I think we’re all good. Dig in.” Bobby smiled, taking in the seemingly contented faces of his entire crew. That gave Bobby pause. It was the first day they were scheduled to work since Valentine’s Day, and Eddie had been less than thrilled about the holiday to begin with. Then there was Buck, who had been on a mission to find the identity of his secret admirer. “So, how was everyone’s Valentine’s Day?”

“It was great,” Hen answered as she shoveled a generous portion of eggs onto her plate. “We were able to make it out for a nice dinner… it was a nice change of pace. Did Athena like her surprise?”

“Can I get the bacon over here, before you answer that, Cap?” Chim asked with a grin as Bobby handed him the plate.

“She loved it. So, thank you for keeping it a secret.” He laughed lightly, nodding his appreciation to Hen. “What about you Chim, you and Maddie have a nice evening out?”

“Yeah, she loved the restaurant you recommended, raved about it the whole way home.”

“And that is the most that you will tell us about your Valentine’s Day with my sister,” Buck warned with a stern look.

“What about you, Buck, have any emergency tracheotomies?” Chim quipped.

“Eddie, what about you? What did you end up doing?” Bobby asked, taking a bite of his eggs, the rest of the crew beginning to shovel food in.

“Pizza and Netflix,” they said in unison, holding each other’s gaze for a beat too long.

Bobby couldn’t fight the grin that lit up his face. “Sounds like a nice, quiet way to spend the holiday.”

“No tracheotomy required,” Buck laughed, “good thing my secret admirer is a great medic, just in case there is a bread emergency.”

“Hold up… hold up a  _ damn _ minute,” Hen’s eyes popped as her jaw dropped open, “Eddie was your secret admirer this whole damn time?”

“It took all of you long enough to figure it out,” Bobby said with a raised brow, reaching over to grab a cinnamon roll and placing it onto his plate.

“Wait, you knew?” Chim asked, his tone turning playfully accusatory. “You knew and you didn’t share that information with us?”

“Or  _ me _ , for that matter _ , _ ” Buck added before taking several long swallows of his orange juice.

Bobby laughed before shrugging his shoulders., “Well you figured it out, so what’s the harm?”

“Actually, he didn’t,” Eddie teased, reaching over and grabbing the last piece of bacon off of Buck’s plate. “Christopher, the little rat that delivered the letters in the first place, told him.”

“God, I love that kid. He’s got more common sense than the two of you combined,” Hen chuckled. The rest of them laughed in agreement, both Buck and Eddie knowing that an argument would be feeble. And wrong. 

Eddie smiled silently, enjoying the laughter that surrounded them. His eyes met Buck’s across the table, and Buck winked at him before he turned his attention back to his plate of food. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a happy Valentine’s Day. And now thanks to Christopher and Buck, he couldn’t imagine a happier one.


End file.
